The Cleanse: Day One, lunchtime

Let me just come out and say it: I'm doing a juicing cleanse. I know that it might sound a little silly and new-agey, but its nothing I've ever done before and was curious about how it might feel. After several conversations and some research, I found the "Total Body Stress Cleanse."

Right. So, the whole point is that I throw all kinds of fruits and veggies in a juicer and live on that for three days. There are different combinations, of course. This morning, I had a glass of water with one lemon's worth of juice and two tablespoons of maple syrup, a glass of juice with parsley, carrots, an apple, and 1/2 a beet, (yep. I drank that) and glass of carrot juice with a teaspoon of wheatgrass (that was absolutely dreadful. I will NOT be consuming more wheatgrass during this cleanse).

I can tell you that it hasn't been bad so far. But now it's 12:30, lunchtime, which means that I'm about to have a "Salad in a Glass." It's celery, tomatoes, cucumber, green pepper, lemon, parsley, and chives. I'm looking at it right now, and I'm telling you that there is a vaguely pee-colored liquid at the bottom and reddish-orange sediment floating on the top. I'm horrified. How am I, dear reader, possibly going to get that down my gullet? I'm kind of for the "rip the band-aid off fast" philosophy of action, so I'm going to take care of my "lunch" and then let you know what I thought.

* * *

It's 12:36. That was pretty awful. It tasted like... like salty tomatoey lemony water. Not friendly at all. I made the juice about an hour and a half ago and put it in the fridge, which was a smart idea because if it was warm, I might have gagged. Luckily, it wasn't a massive glass and after half a glass of water, there is only a vague aftertaste in the back of my mouth. Perhaps that is the taste of health.

Honestly, even as I type, it's like I don't really want to be talking about it. It's wierd how a morning's worth of fruit and vegetable juice has completely taken over my thoughts. All I can think about is how I can't wait until 2:30 when I can have a big mug of green tea (yes, it's part of the plan). Dinner tonight? "Potassium Broth." That would be exactly what it sounds like--broth from a bunch of veggies boiled together.

Yeah, there will be more updates.

First day: Terror

The first day of class is here! I only have one class today and I'm thinking, "Yeah, this is going to be great. Super fun. No big."

Yep, five years of teaching full-time, and I'm still terrified to get up in front of those students and try to get them comfortable when I am NOT comfortable. And I like being the center of attention! But the first day... good lord. I start yammering about how the first day of class is like a blind date and everyone is looking around at each other and looking at me and wondering how it's going to be and if we're all going to get along, and then I have to take roll and slaughter everyone's names, and then we all do the "get to know each other" thing that no one EVER likes, and then I have to tell them things about myself, so I say where I went to school and how long I've been teaching and that ordinarily my hair is very straight and flat (I curled it today for the occassion) and that I have one small tattoo before I trail off and ask if anyone has any questions and a guy raises his hand and asks,

"So, do you think you're a better communicator in writing or when talking?"

Holy moly! What a question. I confessed that I was nervous and prefer talking in smaller groups and that writing is a different form of communication for me than speaking... right. I can't completely remember what I even said.

I'm through it now, though, so I can hole up in my office and do other work, work that doesn't involve standing up in front of a bunch of strangers with judging eyes. Give me a week or two and (I hope to hell!) I'll be comfortable.