First day: Terror

The first day of class is here! I only have one class today and I'm thinking, "Yeah, this is going to be great. Super fun. No big."

Yep, five years of teaching full-time, and I'm still terrified to get up in front of those students and try to get them comfortable when I am NOT comfortable. And I like being the center of attention! But the first day... good lord. I start yammering about how the first day of class is like a blind date and everyone is looking around at each other and looking at me and wondering how it's going to be and if we're all going to get along, and then I have to take roll and slaughter everyone's names, and then we all do the "get to know each other" thing that no one EVER likes, and then I have to tell them things about myself, so I say where I went to school and how long I've been teaching and that ordinarily my hair is very straight and flat (I curled it today for the occassion) and that I have one small tattoo before I trail off and ask if anyone has any questions and a guy raises his hand and asks,

"So, do you think you're a better communicator in writing or when talking?"

Holy moly! What a question. I confessed that I was nervous and prefer talking in smaller groups and that writing is a different form of communication for me than speaking... right. I can't completely remember what I even said.

I'm through it now, though, so I can hole up in my office and do other work, work that doesn't involve standing up in front of a bunch of strangers with judging eyes. Give me a week or two and (I hope to hell!) I'll be comfortable.